You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just want to make out with him forever
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
