wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize