I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
