I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
