is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
