gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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