Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I have tasted many bathrooms
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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