Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize