Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I cannot find my penis.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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