You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
