I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
