i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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