I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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