I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
So here I am, sexting at work.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
