One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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