Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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