i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
