if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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