I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize