Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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