Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
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