Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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