Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
