Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
