she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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