Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize