You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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