Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
