well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
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