these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
