So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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