SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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