you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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