I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize