You made me cry and you don't even care
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i dont even know how to be here
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
