at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
the liver wants what the liver wants
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
