I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
