I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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