whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I am midnight drunk by noon
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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