i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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