hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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