I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
