Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
