There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
