apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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