The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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