butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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