I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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