So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
