im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
