There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
