she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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