Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
