got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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