I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i believe in u and ur pee
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
