Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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