Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Floor bacon is actually really good
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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