Buhtt sex?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
