You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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