I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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