I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize