I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
