I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
MIDGETS
????
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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