is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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