Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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