I met the friendliest cop last night
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
