yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Dignity is for republicans.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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