I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
zippers are such a cool invention
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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