The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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