I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I will pee on everything he values.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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