I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
