Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
