What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
