found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
