How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
