I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
