Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize