idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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