Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
