i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
