I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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